Just to Hear You Breathing
by Burning Snow
Summary: SiriusRemus oneshot. Remus POV. Remus is lying awake in bed, just watching Sirius sleep. Remus refuses to close his eyes because he doesn't want to miss a thing.


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't own this song, either...it belongs to Aerosmith.

Sirius/Remus slash. Don't like, don't read.

This is for Monique. I heard the song on the radio the other day, and it immediately reminded me of you. I couldn't **not** write this after hearingthe song...it just inspired me so much. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

* * *

_I could stay awake just to hear to breathing_

_Watch you smile while you are sleeping_

_While you're far away and dreaming_

Lying awake in my four-poster bed, I observed the dormitory with a keen eye and an attuned ear. Curtains were drawn about two of the four beds that shared the room, but they hardly masked the snores that arose from the beds' occupants. I sighed and my eyes roved around the room, taking in every last detail, until my gaze finally fell on the open-curtained bed next to mine.

_I could spend my life in this sweet surrender_

_I could stay lost in this moment forever_

_Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure_

The silver moonlight filtered in through an open window, casting an angelic glow upon the true subject of my attention. Bathed in this moonlight, he was even more stunning than usual. A small smile lit his sleeping face, around which shimmered his raven hair.

His long onyx-and-diamond mane fell freely about his shoulders as well, and some fell even further down to his bare chest, which rose and fell in perfect rhythm.

I strained my ears to hear his breath. It was like the whisperings of an angel, the kind that visits you only in your deepest and most perfect dreams.

_I don't want to close my eyes_

_I don't want to fall asleep_

'_Cause I'd miss you, baby_

_And I don't want to miss a thing_

I had watched him as he slept many times before, but this striking beauty before me was something new.

I had fallen asleep to the music of his breathing many times before, but this time it mesmerized me.

And so, I refused to allow the sands of sleep to overcome my eyes. I knew that this time was different than the rest.

'_Cause even when I dream of you_

_The sweetest dream will never do_

_I'd still miss you, baby_

_And I don't want to miss a thing_

Before, I was content with my sleeping fantasies. In them, he would be there, and he would long for me as I longed for him. But his true essence was never real. When I awoke, I found that during in my slumber he had been altered by the dream world. I found his real self to be much more desirable.

Now, in the darkness and the light, I could not afford to drift away to my imperfect dreams. Now, I neededto experience the true perfection that was Sirius Black.

_Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating_

_And I'm wondering what you're dreaming_

_Wondering if it's me you're seeing_

I listened. Soon the overwhelming snores of Peter and James became mere background music, a vulgar and yet suiting accompaniment to the real melody of the piece. Soon, even his life-giving breath fell away. I listened until I could hear his heartbeat, until I could **feel** it coursing through my veins, setting my own heart in synch, filling my entire body and soul with its sweet song.

_Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together_

_And I just want to stay with you _

_In this moment forever, forever and ever_

As if in a trance, I slipped from beneath my sheets and placed my feet on the cold wooden floor. I found that I could hardly stand, for the vibration of his heart was so intense that it weakened me.

However, before I knew it I was leaning down to his sleeping form. Hesitating just a moment, I brushed my lips slowly over both his eyelids.

When he did not stir, I felt more daring. I knelt, and his rich scent filled my nostrils as I placed my head on his chest, right above his heart.

_I don't want to close my eyes_

_I don't want to fall asleep_

'_Cause I'd miss you, baby_

_And I don't want to miss a thing_

He was not in the least bit disturbed. His chest continued to rise and fall, rise and fall, and his heart continued to beat in the same perfect rhythm.

My heartbeat fell in time with his. When he breathed in, I breathed out; when he breathed out, I breathed in.

We were naturally of the same being, he and I. It was as if some celestial being had poured our spirits into the same mold and then split it in half, therefore creating two different individuals with the same soul. Not even in my most pleasurable dreams could I have even imagined the bliss of this moment.

'_Cause even when I dream of you_

_The sweetest dream will never do_

_I'd still miss you, baby_

_And I don't want to miss a thing_

On an unexplainable impulse, I suddenly jerked away and looked to his face. He was still smiling, as before, but the scene was different. His eyes were open, staring intensely into mine with both the fire of a thousand suns and the comfort of a thousand moons.

Whatever words I had been saving to tell him disappeared. It didn't matter, for I felt that they needn't be said. There was simply an understanding between us. His eyes, his smile, told me that he knew, and that the feelings were undeniably returned.

_I don't want to miss one smile_

_I don't want to miss one kiss_

_I just want to be with you, right here with you_

_Just like this_

He reached out with his hand to stroke my face, and I moved my cheek against his palm. He twisted his fingers into my hair and pulled my head down to his. He met my lips with his forehead, his nose, his cheek, as if he wanted every part of his face to be blessed by my kiss. I indulged him, for somehow I knew that this meant the world to him.

_I just want to hold you close_

_Feel your heart so close to mine_

_And stay here in this moment_

_For all the rest of time_

Finally, he brought my mouth to his. Our chaste kiss overwhelmed me in a way that I'm incapable of describing.

Without breaking this sacred bond, he pulled me up onto him. He held me, and all was right with the world. We broke away and kissed again, in a more impure way this time, but sacred nonetheless.

When we separated, he cradled me tenderly in his arms. Once again, I laid my head against his chest, just above his heart.

_I don't want to close my eyes_

_I don't want to fall asleep _

'_Cause I'd miss you baby_

_And I don't want to miss a thing_

My eyes closed of their own accord. I fought sleep, but still it came. It forced itself upon me in the form of Sirius' warm embrace, his scent, his breathing, and his heartbeat.

'_Cause even when I dream of you_

_The sweetest dream will never do_

_I'd still miss you, baby_

_And I don't want to miss a thing_

I fell into pleasant dreams, too perfect to even be dreams. Only reality could be that flawless. Therefore, I chose to believe that they were not dreams, but glimpses of my real future with the man I loved. And I wouldn't miss a thing.

-End-


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